I’ve missed the fat bastard!

Garfield, you fat bastard!!!!

Is it? In those moments when you are extremely desperate and depressed what makes you going? What stops you from going on top of a building and putting an end to it all? I’ve tried to give and answer but I couldn’t. I remember myself crying my eyes out for whatever reason and sobbing and saying over and over again “I can’t take it anymore!” and “Enough! Enough! Enough!” And still… here I am. Hope… we all hope for better days, for things to improve, for a more pink life. But do we still have hope in those moments? Are we truly able to believe that it’s just a phase we’re going through and in the end everything will be ok?

And if it’s not hope - stupid hope, hope that never comes true, but still, HOPE - then what is it? I’m a happy person most of the time, but I do have my bad days. And I scream and I cry and I bite my hand or my lip or I scratch my arm till it bleeds, I do anything to forget about my inner pain. Still - how do I know the pain is bearable, how do I know it’s not the time to put an end to my miserable life? I don’t know. Deep down inside I just feel that way: that no matter how much I suffer, it will go away. And sometimes the burden of the time that doesn’t heal my wounds is almost driving me mad, but still… here I am.

Where does this optimism come from? Why am I so keen on living tough I’m aware life’s not a bed of roses? One thing’s for sure: my happiness doesn’t revolve around one major aspect of my life. There are so many things that make me smile, that make me feel good, that make me happy. Maybe they keep me going. Maybe I’m living for all those simple things. But isn’t that a mediocre way of living? All this taking life as it is, not really wishing or dreaming about grand things, things you know from the start you’ll never have, being satisfied with what you’ve got and not even having the desire to improve yourself? Isn’t this mediocre? I find my optimism and enthusiasm rather annoying. I mean, is it good to think that no matter what, in the end everything will be fine? That you can cope with anything. That there’s nothing which can actually make you want to quit this life. I think it’s more than childish.

Anyway, I don’t know if anyone will understand something out of this post, but I do have a question for you: what keeps you going?

I love Garfield!

And, on another topic, here’s a song I tooootally love! In fact, Klaxons are my new musical obsession! Go, Klaxons! [and thank you, Dorin for sharing ]

Come with me, come with me
We’ll travel to infinity
Come with me, come with me
We’ll travel to infinity
I’ll always be there, oh, oh, my future love
I’ll always be there, for you, my future love

And I’ve read that the lyrics have to do with Pynchon’s novel - Gravity’s Rainbow. Must read it! [later edit: the book has been downloaded and uploaded on my eBook reader; I’m good! ]

Another later edit: here’s the clip to the song

Pfff, I’ve just seen the movie Sliding Doors [excellent movie!] and I’ve fallen in love with one of the actors: John Hannah

And during the movie I was exactly like this:

I’ve gotta stop looking at the Garfield comics. It’s a killer!

Awwww, this is just awesome! Thank you Jolly for the link